Sermon

Sunday, September 7, 2008

“Law of the Garbage Truck!”

The Reverend Dr. E. Neil Hunt

The United Church of Marco Island

“Law of the Garbage Truck!”

The Reverend Dr. E. Neil Hunt

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Matthew18:15-20

“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one. ¹⁶But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ¹⁸Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. ¹⁹Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. ²⁰For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

LET US PRAY: May the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable to You O God, our rock and our redeemer. Amen.

Back in 1997 the following letter appeared in newspapers all across the nation:

Dear Ann Landers: You recently printed a sweet “how-we-met” story. The woman said at the end of World War II, she sat behind a soldier in church. He knew all the lyrics to the songs so she figured he couldn’t be all bad. Later, she learned that he was a doctor. Three months later, she slipped on an icy walk and injured her arm. That same doctor insisted she stay in the infirmary, and he visited her twice a day. When she was discharged, he asked her to the movies to celebrate. They subsequently married in the same chapel where they had met.

Here is how I envision that very same story might be written up if it were to happen today:

Dear Ann: Last week, I attended church services and noticed that the soldier sitting behind me knew all the words to every song. I figured anyone who knew those lyrics was probably a member of the religious right. I bumped into him a month later. After cussing him out and telling him to watch where he was going, I learned he was a doctor. Three months later, I slipped on an icy walk and injured my arm. After suing the property owner for all I could get, this same doctor treated me and insisted that I stay in the infirmary. He then made twice daily visits to see how I was doing, which made me suspicious. I complained to his supervisor and filed a sexual harassment suit. I was discharged in January, and the doctor asked if I would like to see a movie to celebrate. I told the police he was a stalker and applied for a restraining order. When the doctor asked me to marry him in the same chapel where we first met, I called the FBI. They searched his apartment to make sure there were no shrines built to me and no bodies hidden under the floorboards. I married the guy anyway because, after all, doctors earn six figure incomes.

Signed

Tuned in and Turned on

That second letter might be a little extreme, a little over the top, but would you agree that something tragic has happened in our world, and that something has to do with human relationships?

As a people we are less trusting, and more suspicious, more fearful of opening ourselves up to others. Some of us have no truly close friends. We have isolated ourselves and we are alone. We wall ourselves up in gated communities, and worse yet, we don’t even know the other people behind those walls with us, much less the people outside.

Robert Putnam wrote a book which he titled “Bowling Alone”.

He took his title from the fact that while more people than ever seem to be bowling these days, fewer are doing it in leagues. There has been a steady decline of civic involvement, neighborhood relationships, and participation in volunteer and religious organizations. Putnam found that the level of community in America is at its lowest point in our lifetimes.

Therapist Will Miller also wrote a book with the clever title of “Refrigerator Rights.”

It has a similar theme as Putnam’s does. Miller says we need people around us who have what he calls “refrigerator rights.”

This is someone who can come into our home and feel comfortable going to our refrigerator to make a sandwich without our permission.

Miller argues that too many Americans suffer mentally and emotionally because they have too few of these kinds of close relationships.

HE’S RIGHT!

Studies show that our society is suffering from our lack of involvement with one another. Not only is our society suffering, so are we as individuals.

Sometime back a team headed by a Harvard social scientist tracked the lives of 7,000 people over nine years. Here is what this team discovered. People with the fewest personal relationships were three time more likely to die than those with strong relational connections. Three times!

In fact, people with bad health habits such as smoking, poor eating habits, obesity, or alcohol use, but who had strong social ties lived significantly longer than people who had great health habits but were isolated. In other words, as one minister said: it is better to eat Twinkies with good friends than to eat broccoli alone.

A Harvard researcher notes that if you belong to no groups but decide to join one, “you cut your risk of dying over the next year in half.”

(see you can come and join us here at United Church and cut your risk of dying over the next year in half!)

As the notice in a church bulletin said, “Don’t let work kill you, let the church help!”

In the words of the old Barbra Streisand song says, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world…”

Relationships are important to all of us!

You need to believe that or you cannot appreciate Jesus’ words in our scripture reading this morning.

Relationships matter. In fact, in the long run, the only thing that really matters in life is relationships.

When life is over, everything we have in this world will disappear and decay. Only one thing will remain: relationships.

This is to say we need our relationships to be strong and we want them to last. Now listen to Jesus’ words:

“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’

If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

I think this is an interesting teaching! It all begins with “If another member sins against you…” This doesn’t mean your brother in a literal sense, but it sure could. Has anyone ever seen a family relationship grow strained or even break?

It happens, doesn’t it?

My guess is that there is someone in this room who hasn’t spoken to at least one member of their family in several years.

Someone said something catty…

Someone took a prized possession from Mom’s estate without asking..

Someone borrowed money and never paid it back…

The reasons are many and varied, but we all know families where relationship have been splintered and torn.

But Jesus isn’t talking about our brothers or sisters by blood.

Probably, he is talking about brothers and sisters within the church community. The early church was like a family.

After all many of these people left everything to follow Jesus the Christ.

Of course, we know that church families can be broken also and filled with strife just like normal families, don’t we?

I suspect that today Jesus would have us interpret “member” as anyone with whom we have a strong personal relationship. A healthy person will have many such relationships as I have already said.

“If another member sins against you,” says Jesus, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you…”

In other words, if someone you care about hurts you, make an attempt to heal the relationship as quickly as possible even if you are not at fault.

Good sound, practical advice!

Wouldn’t it be great if everyone who was estranged from a brother or sister or friend or co-worker or spouse would pick up the telephone and make an appointment to sit down with that person to iron out their difficulties?

Am I a dreamer? Probably!

If you begin to think for one minute that this is an easy teaching by Jesus, you have never had anyone hurt you. Feelings of betrayal, anger, hurt, bitterness, resentment can sometimes overwhelm. Some of you have been there, haven’t you? After a while, it may become a matter of pride.

Gilbert and Sullivan are two of the great names of musical theater. Their operettas have thrilled millions. But for years they were estranged from each other. Oh, they still collaborated.

For years, Gilbert would send Sullivan the lyrics of the operetta they were working on by mail, and Sullivan would send Gilbert the music back by mail. But when they had an opening night, they would stand at opposite ends of the stage and bow facing forward, so that they would not ever need to look at each other. The problem was that they had a falling out over the purchase of a new carpet in one of their theaters, and they never settled that grudge.

It does happen. The sad thing is that the closer the relationship, often the more intense the anger and the more intense the bitterness.

And it is very, very difficult to take that first step. Yet Jesus tells us, that is what we must do. It doesn’t really matter who is at fault. All that matters is the relationship. That is particularly true in families.

Ray Bowman and his wife, Sally, tried hard to raise their children correctly. They loved and encouraged them, taught them solid values. But there was one son, David, their youngest, who nearly broke their hearts. David began using drugs at an very early age. Eventually he dropped out of high school and before long he was living on the streets.

Ray dreamed that one day, just like the Prodigal Son in Jesus’ story, David would come home, and they would welcome him with open arms. It didn’t happen. David stayed on the streets. Drugs ruled his life. Then one day, Ray felt the need to go to his son and apologize to his son for his resentment of David’s behavior. This was tough, but Ray swallowed his pride and went to his son and asked for his forgiveness. Davie accepted his father’s apology with grace. Somehow that was the nudge that David needed. A few weeks later, David left his drug addiction behind. Today, he is happily married with a family, and a responsible job.

Some fathers would have real trouble doing something like that. But in Ray’s case, it worked. If a relationship is important to you, sooner or later you will need to swallow your pride, Jesus tell us, and take the first step. “If a member sins against you,” Jesus says, “go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” But listen to what he says next, “If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

In other words, Jesus is telling us that there might come a time when we have to end a relationship.

Now I have to be careful here, because I am not suggesting that just because a marriage might be going through a rough spot that one runs right out and ends the marriage.

Barbara Brown Taylor tells a story about a woman who was already dying of cancer when her husband suddenly dropped dead of a heart attack. At his funeral people leaned over her wheelchair to console her by reminding her that it would not be long until she and her husband would be together again in heaven.

Later when she was at last alone with her minister, the woman with tears streaming down her face looked at the minister and said, “I’m never going to get away from him, am I?”

That story will either make you laugh or make you cry.

Not every relationship can be healed.

Now for the law of the garbage truck that will help all our relationship. It is the form of a story sent to me by a friend:

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right hand lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!

The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.

And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’ this is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you. Don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so…Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Easier said than done, isn’t it.

In order for us to live out the Law of the Garbage Truck, we need support.

So come with me now to this table and receive all the strength you need in order to live out the Law of the Garbage Truck, each and every day. Amen.